I wish I was back at school right now because it was really easy for me to simply get up and go to the gym there, since it's, you know, on-campus, free, and isn't effected by the weather. But while I'm home like now for the summer, the only thing I can really do is go running, and it's been fucking raining a ton lately. I haven't been on a scale at all in months, nor have I measured myself, but I did find my tape measure last week so I should really start doing that. AND it's hard to eat healthy around here because I'm not the one who does the cooking [for dinner, anyway] and I can only imagine what the calorie intake is on that. I'm really frustrated, because I was hoping to do like I had done last summer, lose a little weight before going back to school. When I moved in last fall, everyone told me I looked amazing because I had lost ten pounds! I want that kind of positive feedback again. It's also tough because I don't have anybody here to motivate me. Atleast at school, sometimes I would go to the gym with a friend if I wasn't feeling so up to it myself but they were going, or vice versa, if they said they were gonna but then didn't feel like it, I would tell them to buck up and come with me, we'll do it together. That would get us BOTH to the gym, which was really good! But here I am, spending my days sulking in my room or a few days a week I work. But I work evenings at Dunkin Donuts, and I don't have anywhere to put a bagged meal [not to mention I don't know if I'd be allowed to bring one in the first place], so I'm stuck eating whatever's around, and you know the kind of stuff they have there! And on that note, because I work evenings and do nothing on the days I don't work, my biological clock has shifted back like four hours, meaning I wake up at lunchtime. I feel like that impacts it because my family still has dinner at like 5 or 6, when I just had breakfast not that long before, and somehow I feel obligated to join them. When I went to WalMart yesterday, my mom and I picked up a buttload of Lean Cuisines, which I think would be good if my brother didn't eat them all like it was his job.
I think what I need to do is maybe talk to my mom [or dad, since he's become our family chef as of late] and tell him I need to eat different things. For my own health, and whatnot. Not that my family eats shitty, I just know I can be doing better. This worked out alright last summer when I would make myself portabello burgers in lieu of whatever they were having. I'd still eat at the same time, just different food. I think I'll check out verygwen 's blog maybe. I just hate doing something like that because it means buying me separate groceries sort of, which costs extra money we simply don't have. I'm not joining a gym, like I said was gonna, because I don't want to even nab the chance at being stuck in a crazy contract. It just sounds less than ideal. And expensive.
I'm just incredibly frustrated. I'm trying to get back on track with Sparkpeople, but it's so tough. The whole "oh I fell off the wagon" thing is so easy to be consumed by. I've been home for a month and a half, having laid out a plan to go running as much as possible. I've gone out once. UGH.
Okay, enough ridiculous ranting. I'm sorry if I sound whiney. I'll take it out if for whatever reason this is a no-no. Anyway, today I ate a Lean Cuisine pepperoni pizza, a Dairy Queen Oreo Brownie Earthquake [BAAAHHHH BUT IT WAS SO GOOD], and for dinner a piece of chicken covered in mushrooms, peppers, bread crumbs, and worcestorshire sauce that my mom concocted, peas and carrots, and a little bit of egg noodles with margarine on them.
Oh! I've been meaning to post this: I bought Personal Trainer Walking. I love it. I wear it pretty much everywhere, especially at work. I can see how people could think it's a waste of money, but it works just right for me. :)
Also, a question, because I'm in desparate need of a playlist update: What do you listen to [if anything] while exercising?